Create thoughtful boundaries towards a better future.
“My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!” — Edna St. Vincent Millay.
How many of you are overloaded? Again!
How many of you want to give more but are nearing burnout? You are not alone.
This last Saturday, it was such a treat to join the 30+ people who registered for the March online community gathering: Boundary Bootcamp.
During our session, we spent time together reflecting on the “containers” we make for encounters and relationships. I like to think about boundaries as containers—we often think of boundaries as permanent lines whereas with containers we choose the right one for the right occasion.
Thoughtfully creating a container is one of the commitments we make as a Compassionate Witness. We commit to actively choosing how we show up. What is the posture we take? What are the expectations we set?
Often, when we find ourselves overwhelmed, resentful, or nearing burnout we can make small adjustments in the container we have created that help us to return to a state of balance.
During the online community gathering, I shared the Creating a Container worksheet as part of my Show Up Hard book. I often use this resource in trainings and coaching, as well as in my own life. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I print out a copy of this worksheet and write out the expectations I have set for the relationship. More often than not, when I am feeling near the end of my rope I find I can tweak one area of the container (level set new expectations) and get myself back on track. For example, did I really say I was available all the time? Hello!? Recalibrate that to “I am available by text after work hours and by appointment during work hours.”
With a properly crafted container, I know I can show up with my whole heart, ready to give in a powerful way, knowing that I will not get lost or overwhelmed in the process.
Where are you feeling overwhelmed? How might you recalibrate an expectation? What part of the container would you like to revisit?
Becoming agile at creating containers—becoming a boundary ninja—is part of what it takes up to show up for others with a wild, open heart and avoid burnout.
Cheering you and your container-making ever onward!
If you are interested in learning more on creating containers, here’s the audio file from my book Show Up Hard titled Leaky Containers.
#ShowUpHard
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