Strategies for Building Trust
Image of five wood blocks spelling TRUST.
The conversation I had in the Summer of 2020 with the brilliant hosts of the In Trust podcast has stayed closely with me. The experience of preparing for the podcast interview, being changed by the conversation itself, and the follow up to the interview of working together to create a two-part panel series on Understanding and Addressing Medical Mistrust have deeply changed me.
During the interview, I replied to one of Rick and Lisa's questions by saying, "It's actually a deeply brave and courageous act when I choose to trust someone and that just feels so tender talking about it. And if that's true then it's also brave and courageous when someone chooses to trust me."
I think that is the moment I have never stopped thinking about: truly seeing the bravery of trusting coupled with the tenderness of being trusted. Ever since that moment, I have been asking myself over and over again, “Is this bringing me closer to or pulling me away from trust?” The recognition that trust is dynamic; and if not static then trust can be invested in and grown or simultaneously lost in a moment.
Recent coaching and workshop conversations have illuminated the challenges of working in an environment where you are not trusted or not trusting. It can be a truly disabling experience to sense the lack of trust and not know where to begin to rebuild the trust - invest in the dynamic and move toward trust.
The Harvard Business Review (HBR) article titled The Enemies of Trust is an informative piece I have returned to over and over again. Among the many factors for losing trust (and ways for us to examine our complicity in systems that are fundamentally not trustworthy), the article lays out ways to build or maintain trust: consistency, clear communication, and a willingness to tackle awkward questions. Already those three things feel like a cozy blanket during a cold spell of mistrust.
I return to these three actions often, asking myself if I am showing up in a way that is consistent, communicating clearly, and being willing to tackle the awkward.
Consistency. Do I keep my word? Level set expectations? Not change my mind or the plan too often or without notice? Do people feel like they can count on me?
Clear communication. Have I stepped back to put myself in each stakeholder's shoes? Have I paused before speaking or sending an email to be sure the tone is on point and all information is included? Have I anticipated questions and provided easy-to-access answers? Am I open for feedback on my blind spots?
A willingness to tackle awkward questions. What have I noticed that I have not acknowledged? When have I called out racism, misogyny, classism, ableism, or other privileges? Have I acknowledged my privileges and blind spots? In what other ways can I be transparent?
I am drawn towards people and organizations who embody consistency, clear communication, and a willingness to tackle awkward questions. I appreciate the mentors and colleagues who are examples of these skills in the day-to-day.
In what ways do you move toward trust? How do you invest in building those skills?
Here's to the tenderness of being trusted and the bravery of trusting.
#ShowUpHard
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